Prosecutors Will Be Violated t-shirts
Let your t-shirt serve as a warning sign for all overzealous litigators: Prosecutors will be violated t-shirts!
Of course, in designing this week's special, we had to take into account that at least a few lawyers either bought or cheated their way into the profession. How to get our "prosecutors will be violated" message across to the illiterate lawyer? We think there's no better way than a simple 52tease.com alteration of some universal icons.
As you can see in the accompanying pictures, the lawyer in question is slightly bent over at the wrong end of the long arm of the law. That's gotta hurt!
To be totally honest, we don't have anything against lawyers...well, good lawyers who care about what they do and not what they make. It just seems to us that everyone knows a good lawyer joke and nobody knows a good lawyer--as Wikipedia corroborates:
"Hostility towards the legal profession is a widespread phenomenon. The legal profession was abolished in Prussia in 1780 and in France in 1789, though both countries eventually realized that their judicial systems could not function efficiently without lawyers. Complaints about too many lawyers were common in both England and the United States in the 1840s Germany in the 1910s, and in Australia, Canada, the United States, and Scotland in the 1980s.
Lawyer jokes (already a perennial favorite) soared in popularity in English-speaking North America as a result of Watergate. In 1989, American legal self-help publisher Nolo Press published a 171-page compilation of negative anecdotes about lawyers from throughout human history."
Speaking of lawyer jokes, have you heard the one about the small town trial?
During the proceedings, the prosecuting attorney called an elderly woman to the stand and asked, "Ma'am, do you know me?"
She replied, "Yes I do. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The Lawyer was stunned, but asked his next question, "Do you know the defense attorney?" "Why yes, I do. He's has a drinking problem, his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state, and he cheated on his wife with five women, including your wife."
The judge ordered both lawyers to approach the bench, and quietly said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt."
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2 comments:
"To be totally honest, we don't have anything against lawyers...well, good lawyers who care about what they do and not what they make."
What's wrong with lawyers who care about what they make? Is there anything wrong with teachers who care about their salary? Doctors? Just because you get paid well doesn't automatically mean you're a douche. Lawyers aren't born into their wealth; they go to school for years and stay home on Friday nights to get the good grades to make it where they are.
What's wrong with lawyers who care about what they make?
When they spend more time focusing on the bottom line than on their chosen profession, they corrupt the law, which exists to protect our society, becomes bastardized into a method through which those in power are able to subjugate those without.
Is there anything wrong with teachers who care about their salary? Doctors?
There is nothing wrong with any person who cares about what they make. When one chooses to go into a profession like teaching, health care, or law enforcement, though you are hopefully going into that profession with the goal of helping protect the sanctity of our society in a way that promotes the growth of the entire organism. If your goal is to attain material wealth, we respectfully request that you enter a field that is less directly directly responsible for maintaining and healthy, growing society.
Just because you get paid well doesn't automatically mean you're a douche.
Absolutely!
Lawyers aren't born into their wealth; they go to school for years and stay home on Friday nights to get the good grades to make it where they are.
I wish that were true. If you conducted a study of the fiscal backgrounds of lawyers I expect it will follow the same trend as other, more general studies. The chance of a person from a poorer family attaining the same educational degree as their counterpart in a richer family is smaller, regardless of other external influences.
With a "quick and dirty" search one can easily find studies to corroborate (the word of the day, apparently) this. For example, one British study (pdf) in 2004 published by the London School of Economics (emphasis added):
"Our evidence clearly indicates
that there exist some important relationships between family income and educational attainment in the UK and that these relationships have been strengthening through time. In addition, as far as the data allows, we have also found evidence that income does have a causal impact on educational outcomes."
A 2005 article in The Journal of Family Psychology (registration -possibly paid- required) that deals not only with social-economic status, but also parental education and mores agrees with the above findings (emphasis added):
"The correlations also provide some initial evidence that parent education and income are moderate to strong predictors of achievement outcomes. With the exception of the indicators for the play construct, all correlations related to parent beliefs and behaviors show a low to moderate significant association. Thus, the correlations lend some support to the hypotheses that parents' SES, beliefs, and home behaviors are related to their children's achievement. The correlations also indicate that being European American is related to higher achievement."
Although we won't argue that lawyers are born into their wealth, we will argue that many who are able to attain that level of schooling have benefited from their parent's wealth be it through extra tutoring to do well on standardized tests or more expensive schooling that may admit a lower caliber of student.
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