We're going on Vacation

That's right, we're closing up shop for a few weeks of much-needed R&R. That means you are not going to see a new t-shirt this week, next week, or the week after. If you don't think you can miss your 52tease fix for that long, might we recommend you visit Uneetee.com? They offer a new t-shirt design on sale every day. Trust me, we wouldn't recommend a direct competitor unless their stuff were truly eye-popping (and they have an affiliate program). We just picked up a beauty of a shirt from them last week.

If shopping Zen isn't your thing, then perhaps the teachings of Sathya Sai Baba will lighten your day.

"At the age of 14, Sathya Sai Baba declared to his parents that he had come to this world with a mission to re-establish the principle of Righteousness, to motivate love for God and service to fellow man. Since then, he has consistently called on all mankind to Love All, Serve All and has repeatedly asserted that the essence of all scriptures is Help Ever, Hurt Never! Through his speeches and writings, Sathya Sai Baba has offered a veritable ocean of knowledge and guidance on all aspects of spiritual, religious, and value-oriented living. He has often repeated that it is not necessary to drink the whole ocean to know its taste, that it is not necessary to read all scriptures to live a life of joy, peace, and love. It is enough to put into practice one aspect of spiritual teaching. A few drops of the ocean of Sathya Sai Baba's teachings, an attempt to encapsulate its essence, follows. Sathya Sai Baba urges mankind to:

• Believe in God --for there is only ONE GOD for all mankind, though He may be called by many names.

• Follow sincerely their respective religions and live their daily lives in consonance with the teachings of good behavior and morality.

• Respect all other religions --for no religion advocates the negative and lower qualities of man.

• Perform selfless service to the poor, the sick, and the needy without thought of reward or fame.

• Cultivate in their lives the values of truth, divine love, right conduct, peace, and nonviolence and promote these values among all.

• Be patriotic and respect the laws of the country in which they..."

Yes, it just ends like that. He must have dozed off while dictating the website. We're not going to be dozing, though. See you in September with newly invigorated t-shirt antics!

WTF? This Just Arrived in our Inbox

HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
DEAR SIR / MADAM,

I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF
AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT
MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH
FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS
TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT
REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN
ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY
PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY
FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE
UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.

IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT
OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING
ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A
FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL
REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED
U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.

MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF
SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST,
THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN
THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN
BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS.

BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE
REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE
PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS
COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER.

UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF
THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION
TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE
INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.

WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE
OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE
URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS
BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF
AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND
FORMER HEAD OF THE ALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE
PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A
CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.

I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT
(10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT
VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL
FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER
BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.

I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND
WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A
BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED
THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE
IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER
DISCUSS THE MATTER.

I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE
FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE CONTACT NUMBERS
BELOW.

SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,
GEORGE WALKER BUSH

Postmodern Tshirt

We asked our scientificologists what it would take to make the ultimate postmodern shirt. A t-shirt that would lash out against the modernism and all the celebration of the human spirit that the era entailed.

After a little head-scratching and some quick tabulation, our crack team realized that the best way to create a post-modern tee shirt would be to imbue a t-shirt with a sense of self.

Much like that which separates humans from most other animals (notice that we said "most"), an awareness of yourself is usually all that is necessary in creating a cynical, individualistic object that is able to question the nature of knowledge.

When you wear the postmodern tshirt, are you really wearing a t-shirt or has it become something more than through it's self-referential nature?

Of course, most of us at The Outpost aren't smart enough to fully understand our scientificologists response to our question, but that's not going to stop us from putting it on a t-shirt.

Couldn't this be, we wonder, a post-modern response to the surrealistic and poignant work of René Magritte? Whereas Magrittes' Ceci n'est pas works point out that "that no matter how closely, through realism-art, we come to depicting an item accurately, we never do catch the item itself, per se, as a Kantian noumenon, but capture only an image on the canvas," this t-shirt is, in fact, the object which it represents, sending the truly pensive viewer in an unceasing spiral of refracted thought.

The shirt itself becomes both an ironic work of art as well as a snide answer to the multitude of ironic shirts that are in vogue among the hipsters and popularity-challenged fashion obsessed.

(BTW, if you're not familiar with the term "Hipster", this short introduction from Wikipedia should suffice: "A hipster is an individual who avoids and often explicitly rejects whatever is seen as mainstream or corporate in nature, instead embracing alternative forms of expression. Often, these alternative forms quickly become mainstream or corporate themselves, thus creating an arms race between the genuinely trendy and the 'played out.' Indeed, even the label 'hipster' is no longer desirable, and it is rarely used for self-identification, except in an ironic or self-deprecating way.")

In respecting this ironic anti-irony, we have also intentionally placed this text, "postmodern tshirt", on some mugs and apparel items that are certainly not t-shirts. Take that Magritte!

Of course, this is just what we understand this week's sale design to mean. For all we know, the scientificologists have just pulled the wool over our eyes again and gotten away with another easy pay check.

Thriller (The Phillipino Inmate Version)

After dwelling on death and destruction yesterday (fortunately, they've recently downgraded the death toll from possibly thirty to closer to ten), we figure it's a good idea to liven our audience with some good afterlife living.

This video is a recreation of Michael Jackson's Thriller as performed by over 1,500 inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, located in the Philippines. And yes, the "girl" in this video is played by a man. Do you think they would really drop a girl into the center of 1,500 inmates and expect her to come out unscathed?



Not enough Thriller action for you? Check out this previously popular video of an entire wedding party getting freaky (and funky) or this hilarious Indian (as in India) version of Thriller.

If you've actually taken the time to watch all three of these videos, it's very likely that you're ready to learn how to do the Thriller dance yourself. Consider this online Thriller instructional video and send us your own homemade Thriller video.

Bridge Collapse Center of Attention

Although Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan both came close when they had their recent brush with the law, we haven't seen any single news event take over the picture box of Yahoo News' popular page since Knut the Polar Bear.

Unlike the celebration of "cuteness" that is Knut, this attention is derived from calamity.

The I-35W Mississippi River bridge shares the same mile of the Mississippi as two of Minneapolis' other spectacular catastrophes: the explosion of the Washburn "A" Mill in 1878 and the collapse of the tunnel under Hennepin Island in 1869, which nearly destroyed St. Anthony Falls.

The I-35W bridge was notable for not having any piers in the water. Instead, the main support piers were located on the banks of the river, and were built of tubular-shaped concrete pillars. The main bridge deck was supported by a single 458 foot long steel arch over a 390 foot wide navigation channel. Two sets of locks and dams just upriver of the bridge were constructed a few years earlier to allow passage past Saint Anthony Falls. The bridge was one of the widest bridges in the Twin Cities area and provided an important link for Interstate 35W traffic.

On Wednesday, August 1, 2007, the bridge failed catastrophically at 6:05 p.m. CDT (2305 GMT) during the evening rush hour, causing 50 or more vehicles, their occupants, and several construction workers to fall into the river or to its banks. Several vehicles caught fire among the debris, including a semi-truck, forcing fire crews to route hoses from several blocks away in an attempt to put out the flames. In addition, a portion of the bridge fell onto a freight train parked beneath the structure. No one was on the train and the line carries no passenger trains.

Road construction on the bridge had been ongoing for several weeks prior to the collapse. Shortly before the incident, the Minnesota Department of Transportation announced that it would reduce the bridge to one lane in each direction during the late evenings of July 31 and August 1.

Over 60 people were reported injured in the collapse, many of them severely, and initial reports indicated at least nine deaths, although that number has officially been reduced to four confirmed. Drivers were stranded on parts of the collapsed bridge that were not submerged. 60 children, aged four to 14, were riding a school bus that was on the bridge at the time of the collapse, returning from a field trip. The bus made it most of the way across the bridge before the roadway collapsed underneath the vehicle. Reports indicate that all passengers on the bus escaped safely.

At this time, the cause of the collapse remains unknown. A 2001 Mn/DOT report indicated weakness at the joints of the steel that held the concrete deck above the river, due to "unanticipated out of plane distortion" of the steel girders. The report also noted a concern about lack of redundancy in the main truss system. Being a non-redundant structure, the bridge had a greater risk of collapse in the event of any single structural failure. In 2005, the bridge had been characterized as "structurally deficient" and in possible need of replacement. This was reportedly reflected by its rating in the US Department of Transportation's National Bridge Inventory database.

BTW -- If you have yet to use Wikipedia for breaking news coverage, you are denying yourself an amazingly helpful resource in making heads or tales of conflicting news reports.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

Awwwwww wee one, it's going to be alright. The 52tease.com/Cafepress buy 3 t-shirts get 1 free promotion had to end sometime.

We're going to have another sale sometime soon. We promise.

Really.

Can you stop making that face now? It's making us really sad.

Please.

Seriously. You look like you're about to cry.

Don't be that way.

We always have our awesome grab and go coupons. You can still save $5 or $10 off your order. That's not bad, right?

Come on little tike. Buck up. Remember what they say: It's always darkest before the dawn.

Why There's No Soda Vending Machine at The Outpost

Water for Life USA (who obviously, has a stake in turning you off soda and onto alternatives like...I don't know--water!?) brings to light a couple of ways that the soda you drink is literally eating you from the inside out:

1. pH of Soda = pH of Vinegar
2. Drink Soda, Leach Calcium
3. Soda Will Dissolve your Tooth Enamel
4. Each Additional Soda Increases Risk for Obesity by 1.6 times
5. Children Who Drink Soda Break Bones More Easily
6. Diet Soda Isn’t Any Better
7. Caffeine Could Jeopardize the Human Race
8. Watch Out for a Asthma and a Rash

You Enter My Heart And Never Leave

Generally we make two different kinds of love t-shirts at 52tease, those that are interested in the power of love to heal all wounds and those that help you meet that someone special (pick-up shirts).

Although our design team has been pumping out shirts for our new PG13+ line of clothing over the past few weeks, they actually decided to create something for those long-term lovers of love (and not the guy or gal looking for the one-night lovefest). Well, to be totally honest, we kind of had to lean on the design folks pretty hard to put out a design that is not geared to the average (and by that, we mean below average, of course) college student.

I'm pretty sure that the design crew was trying to get the upper management upset when they proposed our newest design, an anatomically correct heart placed anatomically incorrectly over one's left breast (instead of closer to the center of the chest).

The big kids, though, weren't going to fall for their bating tactics...and actually thought the anatomically correct heart, showing the correct flow of blood into the vena cava (both superior and inferior), and none leaving the ventricles for the body, was a pretty cute design that needed to see the light of day. Instead of labeling the intake arrows "blood" the idea people wittily inserted script writing with the word "you".

The insinuation is, of course, that you fill up my heart and, once you enter, you never leave. Of course, our scientificologists don't expect everyone to get that right off the bat, so they were sure to include the post-text (on the bottom): "You enter my heart and never leave" as their little touch.

These t-shirts and other items are sure to be an awesome gift for that special someone in your life. Imagine their joy and awe when they see their very own anatomically correct heart printed over the breast of their new t-shirt.

From a marketing standpoint, we'd really like it if you got a matching set for yourself and your sweety. That way you can be the cutest couple on your block (by far).

Speaking of which, why don't more couples wear matching clothes? Not only would it make it clear to that ogling onlooker in the bar that you're an exclusive item, it could also make it easier for you to find each other in a department store (well, matching clothes and two cell phones with a family plan or "walky talky" function ought to do the trick).

Maybe in our next business venture we will deal exclusively with matching clothes for couples and families (Chas Tenenbaum -Ben Stiller) had the right idea in The Royal Tennenbaums)...but I wouldn't go holding your breath or anything.

Let the Intersphere Choose Your Presidential Candidate

Is the Presidential primary field already too muddled for you? Can't watch the soundbites candidates are putting out on Youtube (unless they're Republican candidates, of course)?

Why not let the Intersphere decide the ideal candidate for you?

Using the publicly available information from 2decide.com (an awesome resource in its own right), Matt Waterman has put together an excellent tool that allows you to input your opinion on twenty five "hot topic" issues, as well as how important that issue is to you, and outputs your alignment with all the current candidates for the position of "The Commander Guy". (click the picture to check it out)

Not surprisingly, we find ourselves mostly aligned with Kucinich (69 points, only disagreeing on "No Child Left Behind") and Gravel (58 points with no disagreements---gotta love that Gravel).

The real shocker came, though, when we discovered that the front runners are truly neck in neck for us as well. While Obama scored 38 points, Edwards and Clinton were both tied with 37 points.

Unfortunately, the Intersphere can't do all your heavy lifting for you. Once you get your score, it's up to you to weight the pros and cons of each of the issues with which you find yourself in disagreement with the candidates.

As a quick aside, apparently Duncan Hunter is the devil himself with minus 71 points.

Why We Will Never Recommend Dreamhost

We just wonder what this exchange would look like if we browsed our own websites more than once a week. Any recommendations for better hosts who also allow a ton of domain names for one hosting account?